Post by NotInOurHouse54 on Dec 14, 2007 12:16:58 GMT -5
I don't necessarily understand all of these, but I thought they were humorous enough to share:
1. New England Patriots: When the Pats run it up on Eric Mangini, will Bill Belichick go for two?
2. Indianapolis Colts: Can Peyton Manning throw for 500 in Foxborough, and if not, will the Colts have any hope?
3. Dallas Cowboys: Who would you rather have – Jay Novacek in his prime, or Jason Witten right now?
4. Green Bay Packers: Should Mike McCarthy hire Warren Sapp as an offensive consultant?
5. Pittsburgh Steelers: That was the league's No. 1 defense?
6. Jacksonville Jaguars: How devastating a blow is the season-ending injury to defensive tackle Marcus Stroud?
7. Seattle Seahawks: Will Mike Holmgren win another playoff game in Lambeau?
8. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: How does that devious, deceitful Jon Gruden sleep at night (for an average of three hours)?
9. San Diego Chargers: These guys know I love them, too, but I have to ask: Have LT and Philip Rivers considered couples counseling?
10. Tennessee Titans: Will this team finish one replay-camera angle away from the playoffs?
11. New York Giants: They're not folding, are they?
12. Cleveland Browns: How macho was that touchdown run by Jamal Lewis that effectively put away the Jets?
13. Minnesota Vikings: Did anyone see this coming a month ago?
14. Buffalo Bills: After watching Trent Edwards air it out against the Dolphins, I wonder – is it possible this team could score enough to hang with the Browns?
15. Houston Texans: Why do I get the feeling this team is on the verge of greatness?
16. New Orleans Saints: Is this team bipolar?
17. Arizona Cardinals: Was that a raw quail egg you laid in Seattle, and could you kindly ensure that I don't end up eating it at Shiro's, one of the city's sublime sushi spots?
18. Washington Redskins: Is this team still battling, or are the Bears just that atrocious?
19. Denver Broncos: When Mike Shanahan hooks up Todd Sauerbrun to the polygraph machine, will the coach's first question be, "Do you, in fact, have a brain?"
20. Philadelphia Eagles: Yeah, David Akers' last-second, 57-yard field goal attempt against the Giants was no good, but did he absolutely crush that ball or what?
21. Detroit Lions: What's worse, Lions fans – collapsing like this, or sucking from the start?
22. Chicago Bears: We're not sure if he's a front-line NFL quarterback, but is there any doubt that Kyle Orton knows how to party?
23. Cincinnati Bengals: Was Sunday's 19-10 victory over Brock Berlin and the Rams the least interesting NFL game of the '07 season?
24. Oakland Raiders: Wait, you mean Andrew Walter wasn't selling insurance?
25. Baltimore Ravens: If they lost to the Patriots by 4 one week and to the Colts by 24 the next … nah, we can't think that way, can we?
26. New York Jets: Hey, Eric Mangini, a.k.a. Chip Diller – you know that scene in Animal House in which Douglas C. Neidermeyer takes out the paddle and says, "We now consecrate the bond of obedience … assume the position"?
27. Carolina Panthers: By the time this season ends, will Steve Smith be in a white room with padded walls?
28. St. Louis Rams: At this point, Dr. Linehan, wouldn't the smart thing be to tell Marc Bulger to "Take two aspirin and call me in the spring"?
29. Atlanta Falcons: Is Bobby Petrino the 21st century's first carpetbagger?
30. Kansas City Chiefs: Aren't you blown away by their grit?
31. San Francisco 49ers: Now do you believe me when I insist that either Mike Nolan or Alex Smith – or both – will be gone after this season?
32. Miami Dolphins: If I blast Zeppelin's "The Lemon Song" all week before I head to Miami, will it bring these guys good luck (and, potentially, convince my daughter to stop referring to the band as "too soft")?
1. New England Patriots: When the Pats run it up on Eric Mangini, will Bill Belichick go for two?
2. Indianapolis Colts: Can Peyton Manning throw for 500 in Foxborough, and if not, will the Colts have any hope?
3. Dallas Cowboys: Who would you rather have – Jay Novacek in his prime, or Jason Witten right now?
4. Green Bay Packers: Should Mike McCarthy hire Warren Sapp as an offensive consultant?
5. Pittsburgh Steelers: That was the league's No. 1 defense?
6. Jacksonville Jaguars: How devastating a blow is the season-ending injury to defensive tackle Marcus Stroud?
7. Seattle Seahawks: Will Mike Holmgren win another playoff game in Lambeau?
8. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: How does that devious, deceitful Jon Gruden sleep at night (for an average of three hours)?
9. San Diego Chargers: These guys know I love them, too, but I have to ask: Have LT and Philip Rivers considered couples counseling?
10. Tennessee Titans: Will this team finish one replay-camera angle away from the playoffs?
11. New York Giants: They're not folding, are they?
12. Cleveland Browns: How macho was that touchdown run by Jamal Lewis that effectively put away the Jets?
13. Minnesota Vikings: Did anyone see this coming a month ago?
14. Buffalo Bills: After watching Trent Edwards air it out against the Dolphins, I wonder – is it possible this team could score enough to hang with the Browns?
15. Houston Texans: Why do I get the feeling this team is on the verge of greatness?
16. New Orleans Saints: Is this team bipolar?
17. Arizona Cardinals: Was that a raw quail egg you laid in Seattle, and could you kindly ensure that I don't end up eating it at Shiro's, one of the city's sublime sushi spots?
18. Washington Redskins: Is this team still battling, or are the Bears just that atrocious?
19. Denver Broncos: When Mike Shanahan hooks up Todd Sauerbrun to the polygraph machine, will the coach's first question be, "Do you, in fact, have a brain?"
20. Philadelphia Eagles: Yeah, David Akers' last-second, 57-yard field goal attempt against the Giants was no good, but did he absolutely crush that ball or what?
21. Detroit Lions: What's worse, Lions fans – collapsing like this, or sucking from the start?
22. Chicago Bears: We're not sure if he's a front-line NFL quarterback, but is there any doubt that Kyle Orton knows how to party?
23. Cincinnati Bengals: Was Sunday's 19-10 victory over Brock Berlin and the Rams the least interesting NFL game of the '07 season?
24. Oakland Raiders: Wait, you mean Andrew Walter wasn't selling insurance?
25. Baltimore Ravens: If they lost to the Patriots by 4 one week and to the Colts by 24 the next … nah, we can't think that way, can we?
26. New York Jets: Hey, Eric Mangini, a.k.a. Chip Diller – you know that scene in Animal House in which Douglas C. Neidermeyer takes out the paddle and says, "We now consecrate the bond of obedience … assume the position"?
27. Carolina Panthers: By the time this season ends, will Steve Smith be in a white room with padded walls?
28. St. Louis Rams: At this point, Dr. Linehan, wouldn't the smart thing be to tell Marc Bulger to "Take two aspirin and call me in the spring"?
29. Atlanta Falcons: Is Bobby Petrino the 21st century's first carpetbagger?
30. Kansas City Chiefs: Aren't you blown away by their grit?
31. San Francisco 49ers: Now do you believe me when I insist that either Mike Nolan or Alex Smith – or both – will be gone after this season?
32. Miami Dolphins: If I blast Zeppelin's "The Lemon Song" all week before I head to Miami, will it bring these guys good luck (and, potentially, convince my daughter to stop referring to the band as "too soft")?
??
. Of course, Miami the college could probably beat Miami the NFL team...
