Post by JessLovesthePats on Jun 23, 2005 14:27:28 GMT -5
a few weeks ago, we had an assignment in english to write a modern fairytale based on a real one. of course i chose a patriots-related theme. i got it back today and got a 100, so i figured it was good enough to share with you guys. its based on the snow white storyline. i know its long - sorry! feel free to not read it! lol
Jessica and the 7 Football Players
Once upon a time, but not too long ago, there was a girl named Jessica. Jessica loved football and everything about it. She decided to get a job with a professional football team, where she would be able to indulge her passion for football while learning more about it at the same time. Being rather naive in the area of professional football, she took the first job offered to her - with the Indianapolis Colts.
Peyton Manning, the quarterback for the Colts, was highly regarded as the best player in the National Football League. He supposedly knew everything about football, and had the arm to match his knowledge. Peyton was known to frequently look into his magic football. This football, nicknamed Bill Belichick, was a football genius. It could tell you anything you needed to know about football, and often told Manning that he was the best football player in the league. Jessica was happy to work for Manning, thinking she could learn a lot from him.
Several months passed, and Jessica grew more and more knowledgeable about the sport she loved. One rainy morning, Peyton looked into his football and said,
“Football, football,
Name of Bill,
Who has the most football knowledge around,
Enough to give you chills?”
Bill Belichick replied,
“Peyton Manning,
You’re smart, it’s true,
But the smartest of all
Is the girl learning from you.”
Peyton Manning was outraged and immediately called his father. Archie Manning, a former football player himself, was commonly known to be overly protective of his sons. The year before, he had even taken over for his other son, Eli, when he was about to be drafted, and decided that some teams were not good enough for him.
“Daddy, Daddy, help me, do!
The girl Jessica must be killed by you!”
Archie, not wanting his son to be upset, led Jessica all the way over to Foxboro, Massachusetts. He then took her all the way down to the deep, dark basement of Gillette Stadium.
“This is the perfect place to leave her!” thought Archie. “Why, if
even MY son can get lost and confused in this stadium, and never
know what’s going on or who to throw the ball to, this little girl will
waste away!”
When Archie had taken Jessica as far down as a body could go, he instructed her to stay there until he came back for her. Jessica, being trusting and eager to please, agreed. Three days later, it became apparent that Archie Manning was not going to return. Jessica was scared and decided to try to find her own way out. It was dark and scary, with mysterious shadows and beasts such as rats lurking in the corners. After three days of wandering, Jessica came upon a brightly lit secret locker room. Excited, she went in. Inside, there were seven lockers. All were large and full of every piece of football equipment a player could ever need. Jessica thought she was in heaven, or better yet, the Patriots locker room.
While Jessica was examining the lockers, seven Patriots defensive players entered the locker room through an adjoining door. Their names were Willie McGinest, Tedy Bruschi, Rodney Harrison, Jarvis Green, Richard Seymour, Mike Vrabel, and Ty Law, and they were shocked to see her. After recovering from their shock, they began to tell her their story. They had all been locked in this area, which included the locker room and the adjoining room, which turned out to be a weight room, by Archie Manning. Because Peyton had such problems playing in Gillette, Archie had locked them up so it would be easier for his son to try to win. The Patriots then told Jessica that she could stay in the locker room with them, as long as she cleaned it up when they went to weight lift during the day. She readily agreed, and got along with the seven Patriots great.
Archie, after abandoning Jessica, called Peyton to tell him that the deed was done.
“Grand!” exclaimed Peyton. “Once again, I am the best there is!”
To reassure himself, Peyton turned to Bill Belichick, the magic football.
“Football, football,
Name of Bill,
Who has the most football knowledge around,
Enough to give you chills?”
Bill Belichick replied,
“Peyton Manning,
You’re smart, it’s true,
But the smartest of all
Is the girl who learned from you.”
Peyton was furious and called his father. Archie unbelievingly listened as Peyton relayed the football’s message to him. Archie realized that Jessica must have found the locker room, and came up with a plan.
Dressed as a pizza delivery man, Archie went to bring some pizza to the locker room. He also brought a bewitched football, which would furiously bounce off the head of someone until they were knocked out. He walked into the locker room to find Jessica all alone, vacuuming.
“Pizza delivery!” he called.
Jessica came over to take the pizza off him. He then pulled the football out of his pocket and said,
“I found this in the hallway, I think one of the Patriots may have
dropped it.”
Jessica replied,
“Thank you, I’ll be sure to give it back to them,” and reached out for the ball.
As soon as she had taken it, the ball went wild. Over and over it attacked her until she was lying on the ground, unconscious. Archie chuckled and left.
When the Seven Patriots returned from the locker room that day, they saw the ball still bouncing off poor Jessica’s head and immediately realized what must have happened. Tedy Bruschi ran at the ball and tackled it, pinning it down. After several tense minutes, Jessica sat up, confused. The Seven Patriots explained to her that Archie and Peyton had again tried to do away with her. They warned her not to accept anything from anybody when she was alone again.
Meanwhile, Archie had returned to Indianapolis and told Peyton about the football. Peyton again consulted Bill Belichick, which again told him that Jessica was the smartest. Archie dressed up as an equipment manager and again set off to New England. This time, he brought a bewitched helmet with him.
When Jessica opened the door to the locker room and found the man there with the helmet, she said to herself,
“I must not let him trick me.”
However, the equipment manager had such a convincing story about how Jarvis Green had lost his helmet, she took it off him and closed the door. Then, curious to see how a helmet felt on her head, Jessica put the helmet on. As soon as it was on her head, the chin-strap tightened around her throat so tight, she fell down and could not breath.
When the Seven Patriots returned from the weight room, they saw Jessica on the ground with the helmet on. Richard Seymour ran over and struggled with the helmet until it popped off her head. She awoke and told them what had happened.
While the Seven Patriots were busy warning Jessica about the dangers of Peyton and Archie Manning, Archie himself was again returning to the Colts stadium. Again he informed his son what he had done, again his son consulted the football, and again was told that Jessica was still the smartest. Archie devised his most clever plan yet; a dirty red shirt with a stench so powerful it would kill the person who held it. Dressed as a laundry man, Archie headed to New England determined to prevail.
When Jessica opened the door to the laundry man, he said to her,
“Excuse me, ma’am, but there has been a terrible mistake. This shirt is
Ty Law’s lucky shirt, and it must never be washed. Accidently, he threw
it in with the other dirty laundry, but I spotted it and brought it back.
Please give it to him.”
Happily, Jessica took the red shirt and thanked the man. As soon as the door was shut however, the stench of the shirt reached her nostrils and killed her dead. When the Seven Patriots returned, they again found Jessica lying on the floor. This time, however, there was nothing in sight that could have harmed her; nobody noticed the red shirt she had clutched in her hand. The Seven Patriots felt that they could not bury Jessica because it would be an insult to her knowledge, so instead they laid her out on a bench in the center of the locker room.
Several months past, which happened to be the off-season for the NFL, and the rest of the Patriots began to come back to the stadium for Training Camp. One afternoon, after a morning session of camp, Patriots quarterback Tom Brady went on a quest for a hotdog. He walked all around the stadium, until finally coming upon the hidden locker room. The Seven Patriots locked there rejoiced, because they had finally been rescued. Tom spotted Jessica lying on the bench and asked the Seven Patriots about her. They proceeded to tell Tom her sad story.
“This is a horrible fate,” Tom said. “I wish there were something I
could do. Why, I feel as though I love her already because of her
insane knowledge of football and naive wish to help people.”
As he was saying this, Tom noticed the dirty red shirt she held in her hand.
“The least I can do is give her a clean shirt to hold.”
From one of the shining lockers, Tom grabbed a clean white shirt and put it in Jessica’s hand, and removed the dirty red one and threw it aside quickly. Within minutes, the smell of the clean shirt seeped into Jessica’s nose and she began to stir. Tom and the Seven Patriots helped her up and she looked around, confused. When Tom told her who he was and what he had done, she threw her arms around his neck and thanked him profusely. Then Jessica, Tom, and the Seven Patriots made their way out of the locker room and back onto the sunny field of Gillette.
Not long after Jessica and Tom were married and Jessica was hired to work as the Patriots’ head coach, the Patriots were scheduled to play the Colts at home. As the Colts filed into Gillette, looking around nervously (they never had much luck in New England), Peyton Manning spotted Jessica talking to Tom on the sidelines. He was startled, and immediately tried to escape the stadium before it was too late. The Seven Patriots, however, had anticipated this cowardly move, and were blocking the exits. During the course of the game, the Seven Patriots, along with Tom and the rest of the team, repeatedly shoved Peyton into the dirt until he cried. After the game, which the Patriots won 112-0, Peyton and Archie Manning went crying home, while the Patriots, Tom, and Jessica lived happily ever after, winning three Superbowls, with many more in the future.
Jessica and the 7 Football Players
Once upon a time, but not too long ago, there was a girl named Jessica. Jessica loved football and everything about it. She decided to get a job with a professional football team, where she would be able to indulge her passion for football while learning more about it at the same time. Being rather naive in the area of professional football, she took the first job offered to her - with the Indianapolis Colts.
Peyton Manning, the quarterback for the Colts, was highly regarded as the best player in the National Football League. He supposedly knew everything about football, and had the arm to match his knowledge. Peyton was known to frequently look into his magic football. This football, nicknamed Bill Belichick, was a football genius. It could tell you anything you needed to know about football, and often told Manning that he was the best football player in the league. Jessica was happy to work for Manning, thinking she could learn a lot from him.
Several months passed, and Jessica grew more and more knowledgeable about the sport she loved. One rainy morning, Peyton looked into his football and said,
“Football, football,
Name of Bill,
Who has the most football knowledge around,
Enough to give you chills?”
Bill Belichick replied,
“Peyton Manning,
You’re smart, it’s true,
But the smartest of all
Is the girl learning from you.”
Peyton Manning was outraged and immediately called his father. Archie Manning, a former football player himself, was commonly known to be overly protective of his sons. The year before, he had even taken over for his other son, Eli, when he was about to be drafted, and decided that some teams were not good enough for him.
“Daddy, Daddy, help me, do!
The girl Jessica must be killed by you!”
Archie, not wanting his son to be upset, led Jessica all the way over to Foxboro, Massachusetts. He then took her all the way down to the deep, dark basement of Gillette Stadium.
“This is the perfect place to leave her!” thought Archie. “Why, if
even MY son can get lost and confused in this stadium, and never
know what’s going on or who to throw the ball to, this little girl will
waste away!”
When Archie had taken Jessica as far down as a body could go, he instructed her to stay there until he came back for her. Jessica, being trusting and eager to please, agreed. Three days later, it became apparent that Archie Manning was not going to return. Jessica was scared and decided to try to find her own way out. It was dark and scary, with mysterious shadows and beasts such as rats lurking in the corners. After three days of wandering, Jessica came upon a brightly lit secret locker room. Excited, she went in. Inside, there were seven lockers. All were large and full of every piece of football equipment a player could ever need. Jessica thought she was in heaven, or better yet, the Patriots locker room.
While Jessica was examining the lockers, seven Patriots defensive players entered the locker room through an adjoining door. Their names were Willie McGinest, Tedy Bruschi, Rodney Harrison, Jarvis Green, Richard Seymour, Mike Vrabel, and Ty Law, and they were shocked to see her. After recovering from their shock, they began to tell her their story. They had all been locked in this area, which included the locker room and the adjoining room, which turned out to be a weight room, by Archie Manning. Because Peyton had such problems playing in Gillette, Archie had locked them up so it would be easier for his son to try to win. The Patriots then told Jessica that she could stay in the locker room with them, as long as she cleaned it up when they went to weight lift during the day. She readily agreed, and got along with the seven Patriots great.
Archie, after abandoning Jessica, called Peyton to tell him that the deed was done.
“Grand!” exclaimed Peyton. “Once again, I am the best there is!”
To reassure himself, Peyton turned to Bill Belichick, the magic football.
“Football, football,
Name of Bill,
Who has the most football knowledge around,
Enough to give you chills?”
Bill Belichick replied,
“Peyton Manning,
You’re smart, it’s true,
But the smartest of all
Is the girl who learned from you.”
Peyton was furious and called his father. Archie unbelievingly listened as Peyton relayed the football’s message to him. Archie realized that Jessica must have found the locker room, and came up with a plan.
Dressed as a pizza delivery man, Archie went to bring some pizza to the locker room. He also brought a bewitched football, which would furiously bounce off the head of someone until they were knocked out. He walked into the locker room to find Jessica all alone, vacuuming.
“Pizza delivery!” he called.
Jessica came over to take the pizza off him. He then pulled the football out of his pocket and said,
“I found this in the hallway, I think one of the Patriots may have
dropped it.”
Jessica replied,
“Thank you, I’ll be sure to give it back to them,” and reached out for the ball.
As soon as she had taken it, the ball went wild. Over and over it attacked her until she was lying on the ground, unconscious. Archie chuckled and left.
When the Seven Patriots returned from the locker room that day, they saw the ball still bouncing off poor Jessica’s head and immediately realized what must have happened. Tedy Bruschi ran at the ball and tackled it, pinning it down. After several tense minutes, Jessica sat up, confused. The Seven Patriots explained to her that Archie and Peyton had again tried to do away with her. They warned her not to accept anything from anybody when she was alone again.
Meanwhile, Archie had returned to Indianapolis and told Peyton about the football. Peyton again consulted Bill Belichick, which again told him that Jessica was the smartest. Archie dressed up as an equipment manager and again set off to New England. This time, he brought a bewitched helmet with him.
When Jessica opened the door to the locker room and found the man there with the helmet, she said to herself,
“I must not let him trick me.”
However, the equipment manager had such a convincing story about how Jarvis Green had lost his helmet, she took it off him and closed the door. Then, curious to see how a helmet felt on her head, Jessica put the helmet on. As soon as it was on her head, the chin-strap tightened around her throat so tight, she fell down and could not breath.
When the Seven Patriots returned from the weight room, they saw Jessica on the ground with the helmet on. Richard Seymour ran over and struggled with the helmet until it popped off her head. She awoke and told them what had happened.
While the Seven Patriots were busy warning Jessica about the dangers of Peyton and Archie Manning, Archie himself was again returning to the Colts stadium. Again he informed his son what he had done, again his son consulted the football, and again was told that Jessica was still the smartest. Archie devised his most clever plan yet; a dirty red shirt with a stench so powerful it would kill the person who held it. Dressed as a laundry man, Archie headed to New England determined to prevail.
When Jessica opened the door to the laundry man, he said to her,
“Excuse me, ma’am, but there has been a terrible mistake. This shirt is
Ty Law’s lucky shirt, and it must never be washed. Accidently, he threw
it in with the other dirty laundry, but I spotted it and brought it back.
Please give it to him.”
Happily, Jessica took the red shirt and thanked the man. As soon as the door was shut however, the stench of the shirt reached her nostrils and killed her dead. When the Seven Patriots returned, they again found Jessica lying on the floor. This time, however, there was nothing in sight that could have harmed her; nobody noticed the red shirt she had clutched in her hand. The Seven Patriots felt that they could not bury Jessica because it would be an insult to her knowledge, so instead they laid her out on a bench in the center of the locker room.
Several months past, which happened to be the off-season for the NFL, and the rest of the Patriots began to come back to the stadium for Training Camp. One afternoon, after a morning session of camp, Patriots quarterback Tom Brady went on a quest for a hotdog. He walked all around the stadium, until finally coming upon the hidden locker room. The Seven Patriots locked there rejoiced, because they had finally been rescued. Tom spotted Jessica lying on the bench and asked the Seven Patriots about her. They proceeded to tell Tom her sad story.
“This is a horrible fate,” Tom said. “I wish there were something I
could do. Why, I feel as though I love her already because of her
insane knowledge of football and naive wish to help people.”
As he was saying this, Tom noticed the dirty red shirt she held in her hand.
“The least I can do is give her a clean shirt to hold.”
From one of the shining lockers, Tom grabbed a clean white shirt and put it in Jessica’s hand, and removed the dirty red one and threw it aside quickly. Within minutes, the smell of the clean shirt seeped into Jessica’s nose and she began to stir. Tom and the Seven Patriots helped her up and she looked around, confused. When Tom told her who he was and what he had done, she threw her arms around his neck and thanked him profusely. Then Jessica, Tom, and the Seven Patriots made their way out of the locker room and back onto the sunny field of Gillette.
Not long after Jessica and Tom were married and Jessica was hired to work as the Patriots’ head coach, the Patriots were scheduled to play the Colts at home. As the Colts filed into Gillette, looking around nervously (they never had much luck in New England), Peyton Manning spotted Jessica talking to Tom on the sidelines. He was startled, and immediately tried to escape the stadium before it was too late. The Seven Patriots, however, had anticipated this cowardly move, and were blocking the exits. During the course of the game, the Seven Patriots, along with Tom and the rest of the team, repeatedly shoved Peyton into the dirt until he cried. After the game, which the Patriots won 112-0, Peyton and Archie Manning went crying home, while the Patriots, Tom, and Jessica lived happily ever after, winning three Superbowls, with many more in the future.